


Pipes

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, kinda - Fandom
Genre: #LafAndHercVSAlexAndJohn, #PowerBestFriendCompetition, Alex is Mario, Alex is a flirt, AlexLaf, Human Disaster Aaron Burr, John is Luigi, John is a sass, Laf is Peach, Laf is oblivious, Laf wears dresses and goes by 'princess', M/M, Onesided Jefferlaf tho lmao, Smash - Freeform, Still male pronouns tho, Thomas is Bowser, bc yall know laf would look fucking gorgeous in a dress, bye, g a y, im a mess, madison is kamek lmaoo, mario au, mentioned soulmates, these tags are a mess, thomas and james are the same age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-10-25 04:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10756671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Welcome to the Eclair Kingdom.being rewritten!(AKA, The Alex-Laf Super Gay Flirt Combo Mario Crossover AU. )





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> im so trash for alexlaf tbhh
> 
> this is prob gonna continue so just you wait
> 
> just you wait
> 
> anyways read now peasant
> 
> also i cant write this is my first time writing p/ much anything whoops

"Alex, for God's sake can we just go home? You haven't slept in 32 hours and I don't want to call your mother for the   
second time this month to come take care of you."

 

Alex rolled his eyes, scowling a bit at his long-time best friend and current annoyance. "John, it's not that big of a deal.   
I just have troubles sleeping, that's all it is. I don't understand why you keep calling Martha to come take care of me; I   
am a mature adult, and I am capable of taking care of mysel-"

"You haven't eaten in 26 hours, Alexander." John replied, cutting him off. He sighed, taking a piece of gum from out of his pocket and throwing it into his mouth. "May I remind you, you're human and you need these things to survive. Alex, I'm worried about you." He looked over at Alex, hoping to get some answers.

He drew in a short breath, putting his hands in his pockets and turning towards the other man. "John, I'm fine. There's   
no reason for you to be worried." Alexander absolutely loathed it when people pitied him, and John knew that. He knewthat better than anyone else; That's why they had bonded so quickly.

  
"But why?" John continued, pausing to think of the correct words. "There's always food in the fridge, and I know for a   
fact it's not about schoolwork. If you don't remember, Alex, we graduated 3 years ago." He waited for Alex to respond,   
but he didn't; So he just kept walking.

Alex rolled his eyes. "Never mind."

John huffed. He wasn't getting answers today. "Fine. But anyway." He smiled a bit, exchanging the topic for a new.   
"George and Martha's anniversary is coming up in a bit. We should do something for them."

Alex shrugged, the smile starting to spread across his face too. "Sure. I'm not sure what we'd do though; George doesn't   
care and Martha's picky."

John nodded. "Eh. We'll think of something."

  
Alexander hummed in approval; When suddenly he rammed into something, swearing loudly and yelling in his new   
position on the ground.

  
Ow.

 

"Fuck." Alex rubbed his nose; Getting up so bugs didn't get on him. Bugs disgusted him. He dusted himself off, all the   
while attempting to ignore John's struggle to stop laughing.

John sheepishly looked at the ground, apologetic for finding Alex falling funny. "Sorry, Alex."

"It's fine.." Alexander grumbled, crossing his arms. His nose hurt like hell from smashing directly into.. whatever it was,   
and he was hoping it wasn't bleeding. If it was bleeding, then it was probably broken and he despised hospitals.

Alexander looked over at what he had walked into, suddenly finding himself staring at a green pipe protruding out of the  
be outground. Living in New York was already strange- but if there were people who legitimately paid for their pipe out  
of the ground like this, then New York has lost it completely.

"John?"

"Yes, Alexander?"

"Do you see the green pipe sticking out of the ground that could've possibly broke my nose?"

"Yeah." John snickered. "You ran into it like a dumbass." Alex sucker-punched John's arm, a short whine drumming out of Laurens' mouth. "Ooow... Asshole."

Alex narrowed his eyes, a small smirk planted on his lips. "You deserved that. But because I am a good friend, John   
Laurens, my freckled companion, I am going to ignore your very RUDE comment and ask you to inspect it."

John swiftly turned around in the direction they came from. "Hell no. I am not checking that thing out. The last time we   
'checked something out' was when you were drunk, Alex. You were trying to make a move on Angelica Schuyler. May I   
remind you, 2 days AFTER you broke up with Elizabeth. You ended up with two black eyes, Alexander. "

Alex scowled with his arms crossed on his chest. "Angelica can throw a mean right hook!" Alex kept his arms crossed,   
but slightly dimmed in confidence. "And a mean left hook.."  
  


"I know that and you knew that too. This is why I don't let you have alcohol." John deadpanned, starting to walk away   
from Alex. "If I have to call the plumbing department to free you from the sewers, you owe me a 20 in compensation for   
your bullshit."

Alex glowered, rolling his eyes. Back to the matter at hand: Finding a way to get up there without possible injury. He   
was a bit shorter than the pipe (like most things, unfortunately) and without climbing, he couldn't get up there.

  
Climbing it is.

  
Alex eventually got up, pridefully standing atop of the pipe. He smirked.

But then he slipped.

"FUCK!"

John turned back in the pipe's direction when he heard Alex yell. Odd since there wasn't anyone to debate with. "Oh   
come on, Alex! What did you do now-" He looked at the pipe, realizing that Alex wasn't anywhere near it.

Then he had another realis

Fuck.

Alex fell in.

Well, if Alex was dying, John was dying with him.

He ran for the pipe, diving into the opening. John was far behind Alexander, but it didn't stop him from trying to grab   
Alexander. John had hit his leg on the rim of the pipe while he had dived in and it hurt like hell- Add it to the growing list of bullshit that's happened today because of Alexander Hamilton. "ALEXANDER, IF WE DIE, I AM HONEST TO GOD SPITTING ON YOUR   
GRAVE!" John screamed, straining his vocal cords.

"I WOULD DESERVE THAT!" Alex screamed back; He was far ahead of John, sure, but John could duly note a small   
light behind Hamilton.

  
"JOHN, IF WE DIE, I JUST WANNA SAY THAT I COUNT YOUR FRECKLES WHEN YOU SLEEP SOMETIMES-!"   
Alexander yelled.

 

"WHAT THE FUCK, ALEX--?!" .

  
"BYE JOHN!"

  
Hamilton had cried out before falling into the light; It kept getting bigger and bigger until all John could see was white.

  
Heck.

 

* * *

 

Lafayette is, how some would describe, as unusual.

  
He wears dresses, his favourite color is pink, he puts his unmangable curly hair in ponytails, excetera. He was also the   
princess of a kingdom the size of a country- So, in his rare freetime, he had to figure out something to do.

What did he decide on?

  
A private garden, that's what; Specifically made of roses and daisies, his favourite kinds of flowers.

It was in a small field a few minutes away from his castle- It was where he spent most of the time he had to himself   
because he loved flowers, and flowers helped if he was stressed or tired.  
  
So, that's where he was. Planting a few daisy seeds into the soil, his pink dress perfectly maneuvering with the   
almost-feminine curves of his body.

And then suddenly, he heard a small noise;

  
A quiet thump from behind him; As if something had fallen.

 

He was curious, yes, but it was probably none of his business. This was a field after all, and while he did have the authority to make it royal property, that would be selfish.

 

"ugh.."

Correction, not something, someone had fallen.

 

-He then heard another thump; something or someone else had fallen. The voice from before groaned in pain; It sounded painful so he didn't blame whoever it was for groaning.

Ouch.

 

Laf shook his head, focusing on his flowers.

And then-

"I think you broke my spine... john get off me please." The voice from before grumbled in pain; 

"Alex, I think I speak for both of us when I say that you deserve that." 'The other deadpanned, not as pained by the impact as 'Alex' was.

'Alex' made a small noise in defeat,"Not saying you're wrong, but jeez, did you take martial arts classes that I didn't know about?"

 

"I did, actually." 'John' shot back.

 

"Makes sense.." 'Alex' muttered, grumbling something more under his breath.

 

Laf felt the strong sense of being watched. One of them (or both) was looking at him, and to say it was a little discomforting was an understatement. He was (admittedly) bad at social interaction for ruling a country. Hercules was helping him with it though; He was happy he had Hercules at his side for basically everything.

 

Princess Marie Paul Yves Joseph Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette. That is his title.  
He was royalty.

So why was he so damn shy?

 

'Gilbert du Motier, you are 24. You are royalty. You should not get so worked up about someone looking at you.'

 

Then, he heard another something.

Someone had whistled.

"Damn."

 

* * *

  
Whoever this lady was, saying the girl was cute is an understatement. A huge understatement.

  
Alex could only see the back of her; But from what he could see, (her dress and her hair;) she was gorgeous.

  
Her hair was a very dark brown color, pulled back into a tight puffy ponytail, a small golden crown on her head. The crown was an odd accessory, but he had once wrapped and taped a piece of bacon around his wrist as a bracelet- So he was in no place to judge.

  
And her dress was a godlike milky pink, mixed in with dark and light pinks. She has curves in almost every right spot and seemed tall. Easily taller than Alex, any way.

Before he could even realize it, he was whistling.

 

John Laurens was hella gay, but he assumed that John appreciated how she looked since the one word that came out of his mouth was:

 

"Damn."

 

 

The lady turned around, a confused look plastered on her f-

 

Oh.

Well..

 

This was unexpected.

 

 

* * *

 

 

" Ma, what's a soulmate?" Alex had asked once.

 

His mother had given him an answer. His sweet, caring mother. "A soulmate is the one person that's perfect for you, my dear. They are the person who will love you forever, cherishing you and loving you forever and ever, baby."

 

"Will I find my soulmate one day?" He had asked.

  
His mother had leaned down, looked him in the eyes and smiled. "I promise. And when you do, they'll be absolutely perfect. They'll love you as much as I love you, my dear, they'll love books like you do, they'll love writing like you'll do, they'll adore you, I promise. They will hug and kiss you, cuddle you, they'll think you're the best thing to happen to them. And if they don't think so, I will kick them into the sun." His mother had kissed him on the nose.

"Okay, Ma." He had giggled, kissing her cheek in response. But he had another question for her regarding the topic."What happens when I do find my soulmate, mama?"

 

"Darling, you'll know; Your heart will glow the second you lock eyes with them. You'll know when you find them."

 

Alex smiled back at her and nodded; he accepted that answer.

 

He had ran back into his room, walking to his bookcase and grabbing one of the few books he had.

  
Wizard of Oz, maybe? He couldn't remember.

  
Alex hadn't even heard the small sob that had come from the other room.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Excuse me, how may I help you?"

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, John, and Laf get acquainted, and Alex and John learn a few things.
> 
> 1\. Laf is actually a guy.
> 
> 2\. Laf is a princess.
> 
> 3\. LAF. HAS. A. CASTLE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally did it
> 
> enjoy everyone who enjoys this shit

Laf's face was flushed.

It was times like these, a blushing mess, that he was thankful he had dark skin. "Excuse me, how may I help you..?"

'Alex' and 'John' exchanged looks.

"You're a.. guy..??" 'John' asked. He wasn't completely sure, but the other one did address him as that, right?

"Uh.. yes. Why do you ask?" Laf questioned, raising an eyebrow. Most people didn't question his fashion sense. Not since he was first crowned, anyway. Suits always bothered him.

"We just.. erm.. accidently misgendered you. Sorry." 'John' awkwardly grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. He turned and looked at the man beside him, raising an eyebrow.

"Alex, you okay man?" John nudged 'Alex,' but to no avail. "Alexander."

Finally, Alex snapped out of it, looking at John with a confused look and a "What--?"

John huffed. "You spaced out for a bit. You should probably apologize to.." John paused, before looking awkwardly at Laf.

"Je m'appelle Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. But most call me Lafayette or Laf for short." Lafayette smiled a bit, trying to be as polite as he possibly could. He hated acting rude. It wasn't fair for the other person if Laf was rude to them, right?

"Dang. That's a long name." John whistled, eyes widening a bit.

"Uh huh." Alex agreed, nodding a bit.

Laf resisted the urge to roll his eyes.; He'd heard that. A lot. "Anyways, are you two going to introduce  
yourselves, or--?"

Alex perked up. "Oh! Sorry, Laf." He sheepishly grinned, introducing himself. "Alexander Hamilton."

John nodded and looked over at Lafayette, smiling slightly. "John Laurens."

Laf was going to respond, but the pitter patter of rain was suddenly evident on Laf's face. "We should probably get inside. Unless you two really love la pluie.  I live really close to here." He grinned, leading the way for the two.

"Alright, sexy- Laf." Alex slipped up and John snickered as a huge blush scattered onto Alex's face. Thankfully, Laf didn't notice.

John was totally using that as teasing material later.

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

Alex gaped. The place was huge. No, it was too big to be just a 'place.' Laf had a MOTHERFUCKING CASTLE!

  
"Laf!" An unfamiliar voice yelled before a man slid down the railing and grinned up at Lafayette.

Laf snickered, hugging the man. "Salut Herc. How was the castle while I was gone?"

The man, addressed as 'Herc' by Laf, smirked pridefully. "For once, everything didn't get destroyed."

Lafayette rolled his eyes, crossing his arms with a pout on his face. "It should never happen, Mulligan."

The man rolled his eyes back, before noticing the two men behind Laf. "Who are those dudes?"

Laf perked up. "Oh! I met them when I was planting some roses in the garden and they kind of... fell out of a random pipe in the sky." Before the man could even question, Laf motioned towards Alex. "This is Alex., Alexander Hamilton." He then looked at John and motioned towards him. "And this is-

"John Laurens." John smugly grinned, putting his hand out.

"Uh.. yeah." Laf raised an eyebrow before motioning towards the man. "This is-

"Hercules Mulligan!" Hercules grinned, shouting.

Laf shook his head, facepalming. "I can already tell you two are going to destroy my castle..."

Hercules huffed. "Have more faith in me, Laffy. I'm your best friend."

Laf narrowed his eyes. "The servants have had to replace around 30 pieces of furniture this week, Mulligan." He scoffed. "The faith I have in you now is the maximum you're going to get from me."

Alex raised an eyebrow, looking at Laf. "Servants? Why do you have servants?? Who are they?"

Hercules perked up. "Did Laf not tell you? He's the princess of this kingdom."

Laf punched Hercules's arm. "Mulligan! Now they're going to treat me like some fragile vase. For once, let me have someone that doesn't know about that!"

Alex and John's jaws dropped again. "You're royalty??" They both ended up speaking in unison, but the two were more focused on trying to wrap their head around the fact Laf was a PRINCESS.

Laf pouted but nodded anyway. "Yeah. If MULLIGAN," Laf purposely punched Herc's arm again. "-didn't tell you guys, I probably wouldn't have told you."

Hercules winced. "Ow... Laf, I get it, I get it. I won't do it again." Laf smirked. "Good."

A servant walked by, waving at the princess. "Bonjour."

Alex watched them walk by, a curious look plastered on his face. "What was that-??"

"A toad, of course!" Laf smiled at him; gosh, that smile was so cute.

"A toad? You mean the frog??" Alex raised an eyebrow, trying to hide the small blush on his face.

John added on. "Yeah. They don't look like frogs, but they also don't look very human either. What exactly are they??"

Laf crossed his arms. "I don't know! They're called Toads! I don't know their genetics!" Laf rolled his eyes, before realizing. He was being really rude."Oh my gosh- I'm so so sorry-I just got a bit annoyed-It is not your guys' fault, I promise-"

Hercules sighed. "Laf, you don't need to apologize that extensively every little time you're a bit rude."

Laf huffs, pouting. "But I don't want to seem mean!"

John broke them up by yawning, stretching his arms. "Hey, princess, you don't mind if we stay the night right? I'm real tired right now."

Laf immediately put his attention back on John and sheepishly grinned. "Yeah! I completely forgot!" Laf nabbed both Alex' and John's hands and ran off into one of the hallways with them tailing behind the princess. "They're just in this hallway!"

Hercules rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, smiling. Laf was just so great to everyone, wasn't he?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

John sunk into the bed, looking over at Alex. Laf had gotten them all settled in, and left to go to his room already. And John needed to ask about Laf.

 

"So... you like the princess, huh Lex'?" John smirked, kicking his feet against the pillows.

 

Alex shot his head in John's direction, his face red. "Of course I do! He's really nice, and he was kind enough to let us stay here. I'm not an ungrateful ass."

 

John clicks his tongue, shaking his head. "Nonono, not like that. As in," John makes a circle with his one hand, and sticks a finger through it over and over. "This."

 

If it were possible to have a redder face than Alex had, you'd be as red as a damn tomato. "No! It's purely platonic, you 12 year old."

John rolled his eyes. "Friends don't call each other 'sexy' accidentally, Hamilton. You've never called me sexy. But, if you two ever get married, I want to move in and take this guestroom, my god, the pillows are comfortable."

Alex crossed his arms, looking to the side. "Let's just go to bed, okay? We'll talk about this in the morning. Or we won't. I do not want to have this conversation. G'night, Turtlefuck."

John grins. "G'night, Quillshit."

 

* * *

 

Laf huffed, falling back onto his bed. "I don't understand."

Hercules, who was sitting at the end of the bed, raised an eyebrow. "Don't understand what?"

Laf groaned. "Why I kept blushing around Alex and John! That doesn't happen normally, Hercules!" He holds his pillow in his lap, moaning in annoyance. "It's a pain!" Herc took a second but he suddenly started to snicker uncontrollably.

"It is not funny, Mulligan!" Laf pouted, throwing his pillow at Herc's face. "I'm serious!" Hercules wiped a tear from his eye, looking at Laf.

"I know you're serious, Laffy, but it's just funny because you're going to me of all people. I am the man that once rapped drunk about fucking horses."

Laf narrowed his eyes. "Language. And you're my best friend! That's why I came to you, ya dingus." Laf whacked Herc with the pillow again.

"This is best friend abuse." Hercules fanned himself, sighing. "I thought you loved me, Laf." Lafayette groaned. "I do love you! It's called tough love, Hercules! "

"Okay, okay." Herc rolled his eyes, standing up. "Anyways, are you going to lament to me or should I just leave ya be?"

Laf gripped his arm. "I kind of want to lament, but it's fine if you want to go to bed. Je ne veux pas vous déranger." Hercules crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow.

"Laf, you'd never bother me. You're like a younger brother to me. Go ahead and lament." He sat back down, prepared to listen to whatever Laf wanted to talk about.

"It's more Alex, than John. I'm not saying Alex is better, they're both great people! It's just that ... Alexander is so sweet- not that John isn't nice! He is! I just .. I really like Alex! He seems like a good person! And I really don't want to make any mistakes around him." Laf rants, squeezing his pillow like a lifeline.

Lafayette unconsciously rubs his arm. "Et si je gâche?"

Herc huffed, and comforted Laf. "You won't mess up, Gil. You're great no matter what, okay? You forget that, and I'll trash your castle two times as much."

Laf sighed, squeezing his pillow a bit less but still squeezing it. "Okay.. you can leave now if you want. I'm done lamenting."

Herc gets up. "Alright. Goodnight, Laf. Sweet dreams." He almost got out the door but got interrupted before he could get out completely.

"Thank you, Hercules. For everything." Laf smiled.

"You're welcome." Hercules grinned back, closing the door behind him.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aand, cut!
> 
> smol herc and laf fluffies~ dad friend herc is the best.
> 
>  
> 
> but yeah, the two dorks lamenting is fun
> 
> its 2 fuckign am i need to sleep good night
> 
> translations:
> 
> Et si je gâche = What if I mess up
> 
> Je ne veux pas vous déranger = I do not want to bother


	3. update and not a chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> update on some things

[ Okay so this isnt a chapter but like,,i just wanna apologize for not updating this in so long ive been really busy and in writer's block- This story isn't dead, but it might update less frequently now. kk baii]

Edit: being rewritten!

**Author's Note:**

> yo i hope you liked it
> 
> (i wrote more than 1000 words im fuckign proud)
> 
> anyways cya im tired
> 
> gn
> 
> (also idk if i want smut in this tbh i kinda want smut in this but alas i cant fuckin write smut whoops )


End file.
